I have been holding off playing my Sega Master System ever since I changed out my CRT’s for PVM’s because I needed to get RGB cables to hook the console up to those fresh, sexy professional video monitors. Unfortunately, for a few months, my RGB cable/amphetamine dealer did not have those particular cables in stock. But finally, after what seemed like YEARS, I went to check  and the Master System cables were in stock so I tossed those in my cart with some uppers to boot and was ready to get my party started. The cables arrived just yesterday and I needed a game to play and test the system out on so I could see just how sexily wonderful the PVM’s made the Master System look.

Who won the Polykill Photoshop Contest? Find out! We show off our top 9 entries and explain why they're so damn funny. Thanks to everyone who participated!

People say life is short and I guess on a cosmic level that’s true but when people say it I briefly panic.  I think of all the things I intended to do with my life like visit Europe, write a manifesto, or lose enough weight so that my belly doesn’t jiggle uncontrollably when I brush my teeth.  There’s also video games I meant to play and big ones too.

“WTF Dude, you’ve never beaten Contra before?”

“Well, no,” I said, feeling the need to defend myself but instead just letting it go.

“Why not? It’s not that hard.”

“It’s not that hard,” I mocked sarcastically. “Yeah, it is. It’s tough. But to be honest, I’ve never really taken the time to sit down and try to seriously beat it. I’ve only just dabbled a few times.”

“WTF do you want for your birthday this year?” my wife asked two weeks out from my 31st big day.

“You have the list,” I said, referring to my video game collection I have meticulously organized on Google Sheets. I’ve forwarded the link to anyone who cares about me just in case they get a charity streak or wonder what I would like for a holiday gift. Spoiler alert: I still only get gift cards to Olive Garden.

Here's another exciting and informative entry to Rusty's review series where he continues his quest to uncover the most sought after and overlooked games history has to offer.  You'll never believe what he dug up this week!