All tagged humor

Game Side Chats: Out Run (SMS)

I have been holding off playing my Sega Master System ever since I changed out my CRT’s for PVM’s because I needed to get RGB cables to hook the console up to those fresh, sexy professional video monitors. Unfortunately, for a few months, my RGB cable/amphetamine dealer did not have those particular cables in stock. But finally, after what seemed like YEARS, I went to check  and the Master System cables were in stock so I tossed those in my cart with some uppers to boot and was ready to get my party started. The cables arrived just yesterday and I needed a game to play and test the system out on so I could see just how sexily wonderful the PVM’s made the Master System look.

Games I'm embarrassed to have never beaten

People say life is short and I guess on a cosmic level that’s true but when people say it I briefly panic.  I think of all the things I intended to do with my life like visit Europe, write a manifesto, or lose enough weight so that my belly doesn’t jiggle uncontrollably when I brush my teeth.  There’s also video games I meant to play and big ones too.

TravPlaysGames: Beat Contra. Feel dirty. But beat Contra.

“WTF Dude, you’ve never beaten Contra before?”

“Well, no,” I said, feeling the need to defend myself but instead just letting it go.

“Why not? It’s not that hard.”

It’s not that hard,” I mocked sarcastically. “Yeah, it is. It’s tough. But to be honest, I’ve never really taken the time to sit down and try to seriously beat it. I’ve only just dabbled a few times.”

TravPlaysGames: Played Duck Tales, turned into whiny man child, overcame laws of electricity

“WTF do you want for your birthday this year?” my wife asked two weeks out from my 31st big day.

“You have the list,” I said, referring to my video game collection I have meticulously organized on Google Sheets. I’ve forwarded the link to anyone who cares about me just in case they get a charity streak or wonder what I would like for a holiday gift. Spoiler alert: I still only get gift cards to Olive Garden.