Trav and Jake prepare the equipment for their Skype call with The Flock of Nerds.  Trav commits to his speech warmups while Jake pipes 80's music into their ears.  A lot of bad singing commences prior to the Flock arriving for the show.

We get the giggles and have a hard time reeling ourselves in before brass tax on Episode 44.  Jake is tired, Trav is too caffeinated, and the computer isn't working to Jake's liking.  What a BEEP-ing mess.

Hi, I’m Simon Belmont and I just went on a crazy ass adventure.  Ya know, back in 1688 I was telling some fellas down at the local inn as I was passing through that someone “oughta take a whip and beat ol Dracula right in the fucking mouth with it” and then we all had a toast and a good laugh.   Well, here I am three years later to the day almost to tell you I did just that.  It was crazy.

With May the 4th earlier this month, and recent teasers for Episode IX, I've had Star Wars on the mind recently. Okay, who'm I kidding. I pretty much have Star Wars on my mind at all times. I've got something with Star Wars on it in pretty much every room of my house, and my office at work. 

Coming clean here: I am a poser.  I parade around like a big time gamer who grew up playing and beating tons of NES classic titles.  In reality though, it didn’t happen that way.  My folks got me a Nintendo when I was five years old in Christmas of 1990.  I had no idea what it was or what it did.  I didn’t even really like it.  I much preferred making car noises with my mouth and pushing Matchbox cars around on a rug.

@HokieBriz and @Travplaysgames rap about the perks of having a co-op partner.  From playing Gears of War and Left4Dead together online to tag-teaming a solo experience like Alien: Isolation, having a co-op bro for life is everything it's cracked up to be.

Trav shows off the five most expensive and valuable games in his collection and talks about how he came to acquire them.

There are more books than anything.  Tons of books.  Books have existed for centuries.  Ancient texts and scriptures are still being unearthed and there is no way they can all be read in a lifetime no matter how much heroine laced cocaine flavored coffee one consumes, it’s not getting done.  Extremist religious entities even burned a good bunch of them for us and THERE ARE STILL SO MANY STUPID BOOKS.  The good news is, you wouldn’t want to read them all.  Lots of books are garbage.  I’d even go as far as saying most books are garbage.  You really want to read Dr. Spencer Johnson’s “Who Moved My Cheese?” or Chopra’s “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”?  Nah, you don’t.  I mean the cheese one sounds interesting at least.  I like cheese.

Jake unpacks his new Persona 5 Take Your Heart Edition as the Polykill fellas have a penchant for pulling things out of a box. Cats especially.

Jake and Trav test their primitive acumen against each other in duel after duel of caveman themed games. In what should be a friendly game of "lets tap A a lot" the two instead find themselves bewildered at how to start a simple cave fire. Let the hossing commence!

Trav gets the Cartridge Club Mystery Box in the mail and enjoys what he finds. He also takes the time to point out some issues with the box's weirder contents.

If game developers were spirit animals, Bethesda Game Studios would be mine. Since I discovered Morrowind in 2002, I've collectively spent more time playing their games than all other games combined. Okay, that is probably an exaggeration, but not by much.
 
Now, I'd never say that Bethesda's games are perfect. We all know that the fidelity of the character models tends to lag behind those of other games.

Jake and Trav try their hands at Octodad, a silly game where you play as a an octopus who is also a father to a human family. The premise is silly, the game is silly, and the video of them playing it is silly.

Trav and Jake mess around with the Taxan version of GI Joe for the NES. The third boss presents a problem though.

Last night, Nintendo gave us the first full look at their new console, Nintendo Switch, and for a self-proclaimed “dormant Nintendo fan”, I have some thoughts on the messaging, games and system itself. Let’s dig in. 

Grand Theft Auto Online (GTAO) is basically a simulation of real life where you get to break the rules without consequences, and that makes it the perfect blueprint for creating an engaging VR metaverse.

I had beaten Batman: The Video Game for NES and there was literally no one there to witness it except my cat. In the past I’ve written about my time with an obscure title like Palamedes, my triumph of Paperboy and Contra, acting like a child playing Duck Tales, and even my acquirement of the dreadful Action 52 – but here was a game I had beaten all alone – in the dark – like a bat. cough…

“WTF, you bought Action 52?”

“Yeah,” I said laughing. “I’m stupid.” I don't regret it because I love playing NES and I love my collection but God, I wish it weren't so bad.

“WTF Dude, you’ve never beaten Contra before?”

“Well, no,” I said, feeling the need to defend myself but instead just letting it go.

“Why not? It’s not that hard.”

“It’s not that hard,” I mocked sarcastically. “Yeah, it is. It’s tough. But to be honest, I’ve never really taken the time to sit down and try to seriously beat it. I’ve only just dabbled a few times.”

“WTF do you want for your birthday this year?” my wife asked two weeks out from my 31st big day.

“You have the list,” I said, referring to my video game collection I have meticulously organized on Google Sheets. I’ve forwarded the link to anyone who cares about me just in case they get a charity streak or wonder what I would like for a holiday gift. Spoiler alert: I still only get gift cards to Olive Garden.